Tears of My Players Candle
Every Dungeon Master knows that nothing sets the mood for an epic campaign quite like the salty tears of your players. Now you can capture that delicious essence with our premium 9oz soy wax candle, lovingly crafted to commemorate those precious moments when your carefully crafted encounter goes exactly as planned.
A Bouquet of Beautiful Failure
This sophisticated blend begins with top notes of cardamom and orange peel (much like that last-minute saving throw your player just failed), perfectly balanced with a heart of mineral-rich sea salt (extracted from actual player tears*). It all rests on a devious base of palm, light musk, and amber – reminiscent of that ancient dragon's lair where your party's barbarian made some... questionable decisions.
Features For The Discerning DM
- Premium soy wax for a clean, long-lasting burn (unlike your players' characters)
- Elegant 9oz amber glass vessel (perfect for storing more tears)
- Essential oils including cardamom, clove, and orange
- Sophisticated ocean breeze fragrance that definitely isn't just bottled player suffering
- Approximately 45 hours burn time (about how long your players spent on those now-dead characters)
Whether you're setting the mood for your next TPK or simply enjoying the memories of campaigns past, this candle brings the perfect ambiance to your gaming table. Pairs excellently with evil laughter and dramatic dice rolls.
*No actual player tears were harvested in the making of this candle (we can neither confirm nor deny the existence of our tear collection program)
Hand-poured with premium soy wax | 9oz amber glass | ~45 hour burn time | Made with essential oils